Hello and welcome!
Months ago, my writing progress got derailed. This was brought on by someone’s thoughtless critique of my work. An established writer who is well respected in the writing world, or at the very least respected by other writers on social media. I’ve had my work critiqued plenty of times over the years, so I’m not so thin-skinned that the slightest negative remark will crush my spirit. In fact, a couple of their comments were valid. But the overall tone was rude, condescending, and one remark they’d made was borderline ridicule. When I’d finished reading through their assessment of the story, I’d actually felt embarrassed that I’d written the piece.
Never in my life have I been embarrassed by anything that I’ve written, including the most putrid crap I’d come up with in my early attempts at writing. But this person’s words stung deep, and as a result I stopped writing altogether.
I’ve been at this for a long time, and I’ve had my work critiqued before, by writers just as, if not more, established than this writer. The critiques in the past were constructive. They were helpful and guided me in ways I could improve my writing. They were also encouraging.
When you pursue a creative art such as writing, you need to have a thick skin, because having your work critiqued by peers is part of the process. Having fresh eyes on a piece helps to point out problem areas that you might not necessarily see because you’re too close to the work. Critiquing can help you become a better writer…that is, when done thoughtfully and with care.
About a week later, this person reached out and apologized for the tone of their critique and offered some positive words of encouragement. I responded with a polite thank you, but at that point the damage was done. I ended up filing that story away and wallowed in self-pity for the next couple of weeks.
Then I got angry.
Mostly at myself for letting one person’s opinion fuck with my mind in such a way that I was ready to give up on something that I love doing. When the anger settled down, I did a lot of self-assessment, looking at where I was on this writing journey, how far I’ve come, and really thinking about the kinds of stories I want to write going forward. But most importantly, I looked at my unhealthy need for validation and seeking the answer to the ever present question of “Am I good enough?” That alone has made me face some hard truths about me, my writing, and what it all means. I’ll save all those details for future posts, but the gist is this: I’m starting over from scratch.
For a long time, my focus has been on writing what I think would sell. But it’s time I made a pivot. From now on, the emphasis will be less on what will sell and more on figuring out what I have to say, what kinds of stories excite me, what genres and forms (novel, short story, flash, etc.) I want to experiment with during this process.
So I’m starting over on a new writing journey and with it, this brand new website, and it feels pretty good.
Here’s to new beginnings!
Jennifer C Nelson 